What I've Done

August 2007

It was two weeks before college started (and all through the house, nothing was stirring, not even a mouse-sorry couldn't resist!) and after being on holiday for four and a half months, Deepak and Nihal came to the conclusion that they were bored(yes, it took four and a half months for them to realise this!) and thus decided to use the last two weeks at least and do something that neither of them had ever done before or knew anything about!

They worked on the idea, managed to draft a script and with a bit of help from Deepu got their hands on some movie editing software.

Then I got the call (music starts to build up)
"Tanisha, would you like to act in our movie?",
"What movie?"
"Well, we're bored and we wanted to make a movie.."
"Now? (no, Tanisha, next century!)"
"Yes, before college starts..."
"Oh, ok... what's it about?"
" About drugs. About a girl who gets into drugs and ruins her life and takes her life"
"Ok, and who do i play?" (music building up to a crescendo)
"Well, you are going to play the girl- the druggie- who dies"
(music abruptly stops)
(silence)
"Meeee?? ummmm... ok" (confused look-- which they cant see- because we are talking on the phone (DUH!)- yes, the eyebrows are up)

Well.... we had lots of fun. Having two directors meant lots and lots of arguing:
"Lets take this shot from this angle"
"No da, this angle will be better"
"Nooooo... im telling you, this will be way better..."
"Of course it wont!"
......blah blah...
.....blah....
.....
......
.........

me: " Lets just do it from both angles and then you can watch them both and choose the best one" (aww Tanisha)

The fighting scene- What fun! all the shots are on the "making of.." video

And Rohit the drug peddler, we all had lots of fun laughing at you!

Anyway, as I was saying, tons of fun!
In the middle of doing one of the drug scenes (me with the wet scraggly hair, the black eyes and lips and an overall blotchy face), "Its raining, quick! lets do the window scene.... Change of scenes. QUICK!!!"
All they had to do was carry the camera outside and grab an umbrella on the way out. Did they have any idea how long it takes to scrub eyeliner off your face???

Oh and btw, in the "making of what I've done", I was only pretending that I couldn't hear them!!! LOL!! heard every word, I was confused, I must say, as to whom Deepak was yelling at.

The ingredients for fake blood: (not sure of the proportions)
ketchup
water
Gobi Manchurian food colouring (we did try that liquid red colouring, but that made it a bit pinkish)
honey

The falling scene(death scene, whatever):
I woke up the next morning and couldn't feel the connection between my head and the rest of my body (that's the neck, if your wondering) and when I tried to get up, I felt the most excruciating pain EVER... I wonder why???!!!! I had to fall like about a gazillion times.. I'm not joking!!!
"Tanisha, you fell too early, once again"
"No again, you went off the screen"
"Once more, I didn't get it properly"
"Deepak, your hand came on screen" (OH DEEPAK DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO CATCH!)
"Tanisha, once more..."
"Now lets try some shots zoomed out"
"No, the suns too bright"
"No, there's not enough sun"
.... it went on!!
(perfectionists do that)

Then I had to lie there in the grass for like an hour(ok FINE, im exaggerating).
"Deepak, theres an ant biting my neck"
"SHUT UP! DON'T MOVE, it doesn't matter!" (ok, I will just let this ant feast on me. Hey, i can feel more than one ant, MUMMY)

Then having to drop the photo frame... so much drama and we didn't even use that scene in the end.

Ummm... what else can i say? To sum it all up. Deepak, Nihal, Khushaali, Binoy, Rohit, Deepu, Divya, it was loads and loads of FUN doing this. There were lots of mistakes and we didn't get the quality we wanted, but GREAT job!

Hopefully, the next one will be out soon. :)


The movie: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1435291064047252259
The "making of...": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4d0pXLdVfc

U-NO what? I almost got suspended!

You know what? we got yelled at by the Medical College Principal. You know what? we had to wait for 3 hours in the Medical College. You know what?...

I'm almost certain that almost everyone who met me or any of the other 16 of us heard these words or something very similar.

It fascinates me to think how one small blip in a routine can turn a day upside-down and how one can experience all possible emotions over the course of a few hours.

Yes, I'm talking about that day, Friday, November 16, 2007.

The blip was a free 2 hour class and our excitement landed us for a snack at the Medical food court. (1st lesson we learnt- when there is a free class, stay in class or go to the library).

Our next move was to begin a game of UNO. Yes, all 16 of us playing one game at the same time. (2nd lesson- by no means is an academic institution a venue for non-academic related games).

What happened next was the first crescendo of the day- shouts, grabbing, sticks, bags, ID cards... and at the end of the pandemonium we found ourselves on the floor, in the foyer of the Medical College.

(3rd lesson- use free time to bond with your classmates).
This lesson needed no teaching and with 3 hours ahead of us, we wasted no time doing so. It started off with favourite movie, favourite books,... the usual. Then came, most embarrassing moment, your claim to fame- I shall not mention the details least I embarrass my friends and myself! Cartoon theme songs were sung, mehendi designs were practiced and four lunches were shared while medical students wondered what a group of students with T-scales and paper holders were doing in their college.

Crescendo number 2: I shall refrain from elaborating on what happened at the Medical College Principal's office, for that would be very bitter. It was a mixture of fear, shock, horror, anger and confusion that rocked our minds.

The rest of the day was mostly embarrassment and relief for not getting suspended.

It was like a roller-coaster that day! Ups and downs, sharp turns and free falls. Moments when the track was almost flat, moments when we couldn't see what was around the bend, moments when our stomachs were in our mouths and moments where we actually had fun.

All in all, I can't say that I enjoyed the roller-coaster, I'm just glad that it eventually stopped. I must say, I've learnt a lot from it!


(wrote for msrit archi mag)




The 16 stutents who were charged gulity of causing a disturbance in an academic atmosphere.

WE look pretty content, dont we? almost like Danny Ocean who robbed 3 casinos when on parole! but, no we aint doing no more "messing about" (atleast not in the food court!!!LOL)

On being lazy....

It seemed like the rain was blurring my vision and it felt like I was slowly disappearing into a pit of sinking sand. My feet were like bricks and i felt almost incapable of lifting them off the ground. My fingers like ice- stiff and numb.

The cogs in my brain needed to be oiled or they would soon stop turning. My arms were stunted by time, so much that they couldn't reach the coffers of my mind to unearth thoughts. Why was I becoming like this? Why was I burying myself? and why was I blaming the rain, ice, time and sinking sand for my own laziness?

Untitled

Far beyond the slopes of heather
Past the lakes of shimmering glass
Across the lands of arid weather
Through the fields of lemon grass
By the valleys where buttercups grow
Over where the rivulets flow
Beyond the quiet of a desert plain
Far away from monsoon rain
Sailing by the ocean blue
Through the dark and grimy caves
Through trees of pine and birch and yew
Over the never ending waves
In the dark, where fireflies glow
Past the coral reef below
Through the orchards of plum and peach
Over the endless pebble beach
The cacti and the dunes are past
Even the frozen arctic snow
O’re summits high and ranges vast
By the streams in a lush meadow
In the winter of naked trees
In the days of April breeze
When heat and sun a glaring view
When autumn shows its fiery hue

I found this in the back of my old chemistry note book. I have no idea what its about! Its not even complete. What do you think? :)

I sound a little too "William Wordsworthy"and I'm not very happy about that :(

Just Love Me

Of accepting people for who they are.
Of looking past appearances.

Just love me

The day I was born, there were no smiles,
There was no joy.
My father did not care for me,
I should have been a boy.

The day I was born, my mother cried,
“It couldn’t have been worse”.
My cleft lip, they say,
It was a curse.

“They wanted a queen, a pretty girl.
Poor thing, what a shame”,
The neighbours sighed.
Rani was my name.

Two tall and smart sons,
But from their minds,
It could not slip,
That they had a daughter
With a cleft lip.

Few clothes and less food.
A fruit seller was he
He worked hard for money
School for my brothers,
But not for me.

“Fat-mouth”, “ugly face”
And all sorts of names.
The others would call,
“No one will marry you,
No one at all”

I wish they’d see me
From the inside.
I have talents, I do
But I’ve never been told,
“I love you”.

I live my dreams. I’ll soar up high.
I know you’ll say, when I’ve won my race
“Wasn’t she the one, with the ugly face?”

Do you know I can sing, and I can run?
I can be like everyone.
I have a heart and I have a mind.
I’m someone loving. I’m someone kind.
I may not look perfect
“UGLY” you say
But I ask of one thing,
LOVE ME, I pray.

Self-Esteem

5 tips for boosting your self-esteem.

The only person who can help you boost your self-esteem is-YOU.

 1. Appreciate Yourself: Respecting yourself is one good way to develop a strong sense of contentment. Pamper yourself to things you enjoy and tell yourself that you are appreciated!

2. Avoid Negative Self-talk: Focus on the things you like about yourself and talk only about those things. Self-deprecating words are damaging and tend to cause dissatisfaction with oneself.

3. Focus On Your Good Qualities: What makes me unique? What do I love about myself? What are my talents? Keep reviewing the answers to these questions and avoid criticizing yourself!

4. Praise yourself: Negative self-talk can prevent you from acknowledging your success. Admire your accomplishments and be proud of your achievements. Telling other people about them will help build up your confidence.

5. Do The Best You Can: Your 100% effort is the most you can ask of yourself. Doing your best will save you the problem of regret. Remember that your best will vary from situation to situation. Knowing that you did your best will allow you to be happy with your own achievements.

Spend time with yourself. Discover yourself. Be positive and always remember that you are a Child of the most powerful King!

(wrote this for the Clarence Pulse)

Fudge Together

This is my third attempt at starting my own blog! The first was on a site I cant remember. But I remember my user name was apple_n_cinnamon and my page had a funky red and black skin. I don't remember ever posting anything on it..hmmm.. cant really call it a blog then, can I??

My second was on Messenger Space. It had more pictures on it than writing and I think the last post was over 2 years ago, which was 5 months after the 1st post (btw, the last post was also the 2nd post). The definition of blog, according to the Webster's New Millennium dictionary is "an online diary". In that case, it cant be called a blog either since diarys are "daily records" and even if I change the definition to be "weekly" or "monthly", it still wouldn't make my space a blog. :(

So, here I am again, at the start of a new blog (thanks Sanjana and Ginelle for the inspiration). Lets all hope that I can still call it a blog a few months from now.

"Whats with the name?", you might ask. I'm really not that sure. You might have realised that I haven't entirely moved on from the food names that I usually come up with, although the phrase "fudge together" has nothing to do with chocolate, hazelnut, mint or any fudge for that matter. It actually means "produce shoddily, with not much attention to detail", but not that happy with that definition. I looked up the synonyms for the word- compose, create and build......... I quite like that! :)